Friends

What does a friend mean to you?  Look at the person in this picture.  Soft brown eyes, mischievous smile, a go getter look on her face.  She is a mother.  A fun mom who gets on the level of her teen, a daughter that counts on her and loves her so. Shawna has Pulmonary Fibrosis.  She loves laughing, helping her friends smile, her baby dogs, her beautiful daughter, music, the beach, crocheting, geeking out and life.

Since my husband was diagnosed with this disease at age 49 and passed away from it in 2011, I know this is nothing to play with.  There are many (as many as breast cancer) that pass away from it every year in the United States.  Health care is difficult, even when there is is cure, because of finances many cannot afford to live.  In this case, the only cure, and it is not guaranteed, is a lung transplant.

I have been blessed to know Shawna, and now, she has made the huge decision to pursue this operation.  It takes a lot.  Bravery, Acceptance, Flexibility, and Finance.  Let's not forget Hope.  Can you imagine, putting your whole life out there for everyone to see, with the hopes of raising some money just so you can, live, Breathe?
https://www.gofundme.com/shawna-fetterolf-medical-fund?fbclid=IwAR3VyHnYdxrxNbvoyeqSkv_wGFyGjPHqF3q9SLfY-2ACRuUlXFtvdACo9e8https://www.gofundme.com/shawna-fetterolf-medical-fund?fbclid=IwAR1_RaAIb2INj5-0-ag769y6DJjxN47YG5bF_ju7P880cSItd4aAQEzoPn8

Can I get paid to be a family caregiver?

In my particular state, I was told in order to receive a wage to be my husband's full-time caregiver, we would have to do two things:  A) get a divorce B) live in separate homes. I really never thought that made much sense. Perhaps, your situation is different. The link below offers some good places to start if you find yourself caring for a loved one.

The Care Givers Space

http://thecaregiverspace.org/blog/paid-family-caregiver/

This site is wonderful for anyone who is a caregiver.  Great information and support, so please feel free to visit them.  

I'm not here to answer your call right now~

After my husband passed away from Pulmonary Fibrosis, I could not bear to cancel his cell phone line.  Talking on the phone was so much of our relationship, kind of like our life-line.  He worked out on the road and while he was away, we called each other with every new day to wish each other a good morning.  We called one another every night to bid a good night.  We called each other in the middle of the day to talk about whatever we were dealing with at the time.  It was a way to find out if we were safe and not a day went by that we did not speak.  

So, when he passed away, my youngest child and I decided to leave his phone line alive.  It helped us both a great deal.  My son would often call his phone while having a hard day at school.  Meanwhile, I would call my husband's line to wish him a good night or to tell him my car had broken down and I just needed to talk. We called his line every birthday, wedding anniversary and Christmas.  On New Year's Eve, my son and I would dial into my husband's voice mail and put the phone on speaker and listen all the messages we had left.  They were mostly tearful whispers and inaudible crying, but we could still make out the words we were trying to say.  

I finally discussed with my son that we should think about cancelling his line.  My son agreed.  After all, deep down we knew that most of the time we talked to my hubby, it is through our hearts and not on a ten dollar a month phone line.  We recorded my husbands voice mail message on another device and then I took the big step to call my phone provider and let them know.  

The customer service provider apologized for our loss and  indicated that we would not have to pay a cancellation fee for that line if the person was deceased and asked the date of my husband's death.  
"December 15th", I responded.
"Okay"  she said, "December 15th of 2013."  
"No, it was actually December 15th, 2011."   Realizing that two full years had gone by.  

I began to explain why we kept the phone line alive and that I had not been ready to cancel it until now.  She said that it was perfectly understandable and that she too, had dealt with the loss of her father and still wishes she could hear his voice.  She cancelled the phone line with no issue and we ended up sending tearful wishes and blessings to each other.  She was very kind.

I still have my husband listed on my speed dial.  I can't imagine anyone else's name listed there.  

How may I help you?

Within the course of a few short months everything in our lives changed.

These changes came from my husband's diagnosis with Pulmonary Fibrosis.

The disease is terribly serious; to which there is no cure and so, it is natural that many

changes would result from such news. 

One of which is financial. 

From the day my hubby was diagnosed, he could no longer work.  

Losing the main breadwinner of the house

was a scary situation for us to be in.  While I was lucky enough to

be a homemaker for the last ten years; in a situation like this, 

having minimal recent work experience was a downfall. 

Combined with the current economy, we wondered if we would have a roof over our heads.

Scary, indeed!

There must have been a little star, up in the Heavens,

that twinkled it's good luck upon us, because

within a month I was able to land a full-time job. 

The job is customer service, and is

able to be performed from home. 

Someone up there, was definitely looking after us!

I have to say though, it is the strangest sensation to be helping someone on the phone,

cheery voice and all.

Full-well knowing that my husband is in another room, laying in our bed and very ill.

I, too, have called a customer service line,

sometimes in a great deal of distress. 

Now, I am the one taking those calls and I often wonder-

Would the caller's tone change if

they knew the situation I was in.

Maybe?

Maybe not. 

Either way, because of this experience, whenever I am on

the line with someone, the question does cross my mind...

I wonder- What might they be enduring in their lives after we hang up the phone?

photos via: #1, #2, #3