Sunday, May 15, 2011


We wake up in the morning and I ask my hubby, "How did you sleep?" 
"Fine." He responds. 
More and more I hear that response.
"Did you have a nice day?" 
"It was fine."
"Does your dinner taste good?"
"It's fine."

Which had me thinking about the middle of the road.  Isn't that was fine is?  It is neither good, nor bad, right?
I've noticed that my husband's life experiences seem to fall somewhere in between the good and bad.  In the middle.  For someone like me, who has list of words that can describe nearly every experience, this is starting to baffle me. 
How can one exist in "fine"? 
I suppose it is possible and it is certainly better than dwelling in the bad, but it does not seem to be a place where happiness exists at the same time. 

So, I try to get him to talk to me. "Is everything okay?" 
"It's fine."
"I'm worried about you."
"I'm fine."

Your not leaving me behind are you?  I hope not. 

He showed me a movie last night.  Part of a western where at the end, a woman was leaving and her love said he would not be going with her.  She couldn't understand this, and with tears in her eyes begged him to come.  He explained that he could not go with her, but they would, one day, be with each other again.  So he got up on his horse and as the wagon was taking her away, she looked behind to see his silhouette on the ridge. 

I'm sure it was a nice movie, but, I told my hubby that I did not like what he was trying to show me.  It makes me mad.  How dare he try to leave me behind? 
My hubby tells me that I am missing the point, it's not the good bye that he was trying to show me it's the words he says to her as they part, which were-
"How is this going to work between you and I if you do not do as I tell you?"
Well, it has worked pretty well between us for this long, and...
 in my heart, if longing for more than just the 'middle of the road' for the both of us is being disobedient, then; that's just fine.

photo #4 via