Well, Honey, here we are at the 5
year mark since you passed away. It is just
you, me, and time here to commemorate this occasion. Not sure what to do. A part of me wishes we could raise our
glasses and make a toast. Maybe to wish
each other some form of congratulation. It
really should be that way. It may sound
strange, us, clinking glasses to your leaving this world. All I know is, I was able to survive thus far,
and that has got to be worth something…
I mean, it hasn’t been easy. Trying to embrace life became my own battle
of survival. I don’t think I am all the
way there yet. Not sure anyone gets “all
the way there” in this world. But, I
have come a long way, went out on a limb or two and took some chances. I learned to laugh in rough situations. Began to think about my future and make
decisions for me.
As you already know, I tried
dating this last year. Only one person,
and you know that took a lot for me as I have not been with anyone since
you. It was, shall I say,
interesting? I didn’t stay closed off
and I opened my heart, so I am proud of me for that. It was nice to feel pretty in someone’s eyes
again.
Still, I will never forget your
eyes. How blue and sparkly they were, the
way I could see your love for me within them.
So far, Baby, you have been the best man that I have known. Such a stand up person. I don’t overly romanticize our love, because
I also remember the look in your eyes all those times I annoyed you as well. I still wish you were here. I still draw hearts on my misty bathroom
mirror for you. This morning I saw the
snow fall, in big heavy flakes, and my heart went to thoughts of you.
Everything I do, from raising the
children, to taking care of our home and even opening my heart, I still feel
that you are my confidant. You are the person
who really knows what’s going on and what it takes for me to do these
things. I believe that you help guide me. Thank You for that. Even though you died, I know you never truly left me.
Let’s raise our glasses, Baby,
and make a toast. First, To Life~ which
brought us together, what an amazing thing life is! In its
complete beauty that people and their generous spirits can impact the hearts of
so many others. To Us, My Darling~ and all the things we have
accomplished and are still working towards no matter how simple, profound, easy,
or difficult. And Finally, To You~ for
guiding me along, never abandoning me, and to your beautiful blue eyes.
Until we meet again, my love,
~Breathing
