"Good actions give strength to ourselves and inspire good actions in others."
-Plato

How may I help you?

Within the course of a few short months everything in our lives changed.

These changes came from my husband's diagnosis with Pulmonary Fibrosis.

The disease is terribly serious; to which there is no cure and so, it is natural that many

changes would result from such news. 

One of which is financial. 

From the day my hubby was diagnosed, he could no longer work.  

Losing the main breadwinner of the house

was a scary situation for us to be in.  While I was lucky enough to

be a homemaker for the last ten years; in a situation like this, 

having minimal recent work experience was a downfall. 

Combined with the current economy, we wondered if we would have a roof over our heads.

Scary, indeed!

There must have been a little star, up in the Heavens,

that twinkled it's good luck upon us, because

within a month I was able to land a full-time job. 

The job is customer service, and is

able to be performed from home. 

Someone up there, was definitely looking after us!

I have to say though, it is the strangest sensation to be helping someone on the phone,

cheery voice and all.

Full-well knowing that my husband is in another room, laying in our bed and very ill.

I, too, have called a customer service line,

sometimes in a great deal of distress. 

Now, I am the one taking those calls and I often wonder-

Would the caller's tone change if

they knew the situation I was in.

Maybe?

Maybe not. 

Either way, because of this experience, whenever I am on

the line with someone, the question does cross my mind...

I wonder- What might they be enduring in their lives after we hang up the phone?

photos via: #1, #2, #3

Roses are Red

Since it is Saint Valentine's Day, I have to say a few words about my husband...

For a living he drove a big-rig truck all around the country.

His rough hands liked to work on his Harley. 

He wore Wrangler jeans and cowboy boots, shirt always tucked in,

with a handkerchief in his back pocket. 

He's a man of few words. 

Would you believe that the person I have described

sent me a dozen roses, every week, for over a year?

Well, that is exactly what he did. 

This began the day after our first date and

occurred each week, thereafter.

Just as the roses began to wilt,

there was a knock on the door from a delivery person

holding another dozen red-roses, just for me. 

Through the seasons changing and all that normally occur within a year,

the one constant was the red-roses, forever blooming on my table. 

The only reason he stopped is when we became

engaged and I took over his book-keeping. 

The red-rose fund would have to now 

be diverted into our wedding fund! 

I can't tell you how romantic I thought that was and how lucky I feel to have found him.

Happy Valentine's Day!

xoxo

Home Care

When it was suggested that we start recieving Home-Care for my husband, I did not know what to think.  The idea is somone would come into our home and help him with light chores, to assist in walking, making meals and bathing.  

The first thing I was concerned about was, who would this person be?  

How would he or she coming into our home affect us?

  

Would she be mean and bossy like Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? 

Because, if that were the case- forget about it! 

She wouldn't last a minute in our home...

Would she be a sexy bombshell, twenty-years younger than myself, with a drop-dead figure? 

I guess if she was nice, then I might consider it, although that would not be my preference. 

Sorry Hubby!

Would she get our sense of humor? 

Would we feel comfortable being ourselves around this person? 

These are some of the questions that ran through our minds...

We decided to interview a candidate before committing to a person. 

Not all Home-Care worker's are required to be a certified nurse, so really,

I did not know what to expect. 

I was relieved to see that she wore a shirt more similar to this,

rather than the Marilyn Monroe outfit that I had envisioned- Thank Goodness!

She sat in a rocking chair in our bedroom and

listened to us talk. 

She was a certified nursing assistant.  She was young, but smart -far beyond her age,

as she had taken care of her grandmother, to the very end. 

We could sense a caring soul in her, not to mention that she actually laughed at some of our jokes. 

This is a good sign!

So, she began coming over everyday. 

To be honest, I did not know what she would be doing besides hanging out with my husband because,

 I felt we had things pretty much under control. 

Until, one morning, my husband seemed to get worse and had difficulty catching his breath. 

He laid in bed completely exhausted and I had to go to work with a worried mind. 

But, our Home-Care worker was there with him, and that gave me some peace of mind.

All that day, she texted me, every step of the way.  

What he had eaten, how he was feeling... 

I was so grateful and I texted her back how blessed I was to have her.  Do you know what she wrote back?

She wrote that she feels we are already like family to her, and felt that fate is the reason we were put together. 

I am happy to say, I couldn't agree more!

photos via: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7

A Soft Place to Fall

When my husband received the diagnosis of Pulmonary Fibrosis, he set out to stay as active as possible.  Although he was no longer able to work, he focused on "honey do" lists around the house and kept a little notebook of these lists on his nightstand. 

It did not take long before he realized, in his mind he was still the active person he had always been- but his body could no longer keep up. 

Lack of oxygen can steal away your energy and being hooked up to an oxygen machine can limit how far a person can go, in his case,

his hose allows him 25 feet from our bedroom. 

It has come to the point that the majority of his time is spent in our bed. 

 Which had me thinking about the importance of something as simple as a bed...

  Some of us are born in a bed and from there; we slumber, read, dream, cuddle, giggle, whisper secrets, create life, cry, and find comfort from our beds. 

Then, there are those, like my husband, who try to survive and live out each day from a bed. 

Whatever it is that you do, I hope that your bed is a soft place to fall.

PHOTOS VIA #1, #2, #3

Faces

Marlon Brando

 Jane Russell

Robert Goulet

James Doohan

Evel Knievel

These are some of the recognizable faces of those that have passed away or whose lives have been affected by Pulmonary Fibrosis. 

Every year, in the United States, over 40,000 beautiful faces pass away from this disease. 

Faces that are often, not as recognizable. 

photos via: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Sorry, You Win!

All relationships have a bit of bickering,

an argument here and there; and my husband and I are no different.  Earlier in our relationship, we've had a few "Taming Of The Shrew" moments.  

Between you and me, it was hard to distinguish which of us were playing the role of the shrew! 

We definitely had our moments. 

I'd like to think it was because it was a love that was filled with passion, and with passionate people come passionate expressions. 

On the other hand, it might have also to do with our level of maturity. 

Perhaps, a combination of both? 

We sure had some growing up to do.

"HE never listens to me!"

or,

"SHE just doesn't understand!"

Of course, after our blow up- inevitably one of us would pout.  You know, the "cold shoulder". 

I mean, you've got to get your message across, right?  What better way than silence. 

So we pout in silence, and time passes. 

Maybe a day or two more of not making HER coffee in the morning, or another day of me not making HIS oatmeal.  

Kisses? Don't even think about it. 

Because, of course, we are both always right! 

Over the years, we still have our moments, but the length of the "cold shoulder" time seemed to decrease.  After all, we love and need each other. 

One day, after his diagnosis, we were having one of our absurd arguments. 

He was mad.  I was mad.  

Then suddenly it struck me! 

I am so lucky to be having this argument with him! 

He is here.  He is with me! 

It crossed my mind that I don't know how long he,
my best friend that I'm arguing with,
will be here. 
Whatever time we have together shouldn't be wasted

on dumb fights (even if I am right :) so, essentially- he wins. 

Dang it!  That kind of takes the fun out of proving a point. 

Interestingly enough, ever since that has been decided, the shrews on both sides have been tamed. 

It's Show Time Folks!

When I was a kid, I saw a movie called All That Jazz starring Roy Scheider.  Not necessarily the type of movie a young kid should see, but, hey- it was the 70's!  Directed by Bob Fosse and released in 1979, it was a cutting-edge musical that depicted the life and death of fictional character, Joe Gideon. 

Joe was a far from perfect soul, very reluctant to change his ways.  He had a heart problem and was very sick, but there were people in his life who truly loved and needed him.

He soon became involved with the "other woman", Death, played by the beautiful Jessica Lange.  As he worked through the process of understanding what was happening to him and evaluating his life, his relationship with her seemed to progress.  

All That Jazz is a tough, gritty, and brilliantly acted film that deals magnificently

with such a dark subject and had a big impact on me.  I think it was because it was the first movie I had seen that dealt with dying.
 

When my husband was diagnosed with Pulmonary Fibrosis, this movie immediately came to mind. 

Although my hubby is a different person with a different diagnosis, I think when anyone gets news of such an illness, it is quite easy for the mind

to go to that dark place. 
Taking a good, hard, look at one's mortality is never an easy thing.

 

One of the first questions that people seems to ask when getting such a diagnosis is,
"How long have I got?" 

I recently heard a person, who was newly diagnosed, ask,
"So, do I refinance my mortgage with a 20-year loan?"

   

Of course it was said in humor, which is very refreshing! 

Everyone deals with this type of diagnosis in their own way.  One of the things I, personally, have learned is- 
Love like there is no tomorrow, because none of us truly know how long we are here.

photos via